Halifax, Nova Scotia
“Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it.
I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it.”
“After my session, she came over
I was aggressive, and she was sober
I gave her pills, she started confessin’ and started undressin’ and asked me to hold her. And so I did.”
Rick Ross (first set of lyrics) is clearly describing intentional rape of an unconscious girl or woman. And anyone who thinks these lyrics can be interpreted any other way is an idiot.
Of Note: This is exactly what happened to the girls in the 3 rape cases listed above- those boys “had sex with her” or did other sexual things to the victim while she was unconscious. (Why would anyone even want to do that?)
Lil Wayne’s lyrics are a little less clear- he “gave her pills”, but he doesn’t say whether or not he gave her said pills with her knowledge and consent or not….
To be fair (not that it is deserved) I will say that as the “song” goes on it seems like the girl does recall what took place between them and participated willingly.
Still, “aggressive” and “I gave her pills” should not be part of any sexual interaction or reference to such. And when the lyrics are isolated they imply purposefully inducing an intoxicated state in order to have sex with a woman.
But theses guys would say they didn’t mean any harm and do not condone this. Well then they shouldn’t be saying it and profiting from it! If you don’t condone it then write a song about that! Your lyrics should reflect the truth, otherwise you’re just another poser. What ever happened to keeping it real?
With all of his talent Lil Wayne really can’t come up with more original material? Because sex, drugs, murder, and the debasement and abuse of women are among the most tired and unoriginal things to write lyrics about. (Right along with money,clothes, cars, and bottles of liquor- So you buy and drink liquor by the bottle, who cares?)
And it’s not just rap and hip-hop, rock music has done/does it too.
And it’s not just men, it’s been women too who have participated in this tragedy- esp. in hip-hop.
Why is this accepted? Why do people buy this music? Why do we participate in this?
It’s morally wrong. It should be illegal, but then again, no one should have to tell anyone to not do this- to not further demean and objectify the half of humanity that is already at a disadvantage and, in some parts of the world, oppressed in ways unimaginable to them.
When’s the last time they were a girl or woman in the middle-east, India, or Africa?
But what they don’t see, what too few people will recognize, is that things like this DO contribute to the global problem.
The butterfly effect. Collective human consciousness.
What is up with all this “female hate”?
For thousands and thousands of years this has been going on….
Why have women and girls been (and still are) excluded from or denied- dignity, safety, equality, justice, freedom, education, jobs, careers, reading, writing, music, sports, money, politics, law, science, religion, religious leadership, choices regarding marriage and family and sex.
Why are we thought of , seen, and treated as though we are…. different, weak, less than, irrational, untrustworthy, stupid, confused, insignificant, wrong, unimportant, “emotional”, something to be laughed at and made fun of, something to be used but not known or taken seriously?
Why are we treated as though these things are true?
Why are some people so quick to dismiss or deny women’s talents and gifts?
Why? I’m the type of person who believes that if we can figure out the ‘why’ of something, then we can figure out how to stop it. But it’s all so insane, so unbelievably lacking in common sense that there probably isn’t answer as to why. . .
Maybe it’s simply evolution. Like Eckhart Tolle has explained:
“The mind is essentially a survival machine.”
But it is no longer properly serving it’s original purpose and in some aspects is only working aginst us at this point. But once the mind evolves, once collective consciousness starts to advance towards the next level of intelligence, then we will start to see people thinking and behaving in a more rational manner. Which should lead to less violence and less irrational, absurd, counter-productive oppression.
Perhaps we will evolve spiritually as well, because most current religious and spiritual beliefs are part of the problem as well.
There is a glaring spiritual imbalance in our world. I wonder if it isn’t the root cause of all the imbalance and inequality between male and female.
Human beings are, as we all obviously know, created from both a mother and father. So it should follow that our existence, just like most everything on the planet, is the result of two coming together to create. Logically there should be spiritual representation and reverence of both mother and father.
“If the key symbol of God is that of a male king (without any balancing feminine imagery) we become a culture that values and enthrones men and masculinity.”
~ Sue Monk Kid, Dance of the Dissident Daughter
(Author of The Secret Life of Bees)
Why is god thought to be male, and only male?
Why are the most worshipped and revered religious prophets and messengers all male…?
Why does main stream religion across the globe ignore, exclude, deny half of humanity!? It doesn’t make sense.
Is this imbalance and insanity why India and China (as well as other countries) have been selectivley aborting female fetuses for decades?
It should be a truth universally acknowledged that a nation or race of people which devalues and denies, and aggressively suppresses the female half of its self will find its self in want of a FUTURE!
In some parts of India and China there are up to 120-130 boys born for every 100 girls. In other parts the numbers aren’t quite so high, but the boys still clearly out number the girls. It’s estimated that China and India could have a “surplus” of men ranging in the tens of millions.
The governments will be dealing with the consequences of this for decades. Some of the consequences can be foreseen and therefore planned for, but there will also be many unforeseen consequences.
It’s interesting to me that the gender imbalance in these countries that has always been infused in every other way is now reflected in their actual, physical population.
But how could they not see that you can’t have a stable future without girls, without women?
Will girls and women now become more valued and respected in these countries? Will they finally be treated equally and fairly?
I hope that this is what happens. It’s what should happen, but…
I actually fear for the safety and well-being of the girls and women in these countries.
As for my own country, well, as a woman in the US I am far safer and have many, many more opportunities than women in many other parts of the world.
But there are still challenges, still things happening that shouldn’t be.
Women’s bodies are an open topic of conversation- constantly and harshly criticized.
We are spoken of as though we are objects, and sometimes treated that way.
We are still thought of as “emotional” or “hormonal.”
When we try to point out and correct the subtle (and not so subtle) things that are being done to us we are criticized or ignored, or even laughed at.
There are still sexual double-standards.
Words like- bitch, whore, hoe, slut, pussy, etc. are still commonly used and acceptable.
Why do men use words associated with the female body or being female to insult each other?
“pussy”, “cunt”, “wuss”
“You throw like a girl!”
Or, if a guy does something that seems emotional or irrational he is “acting like a woman.” He “cries like a little girl.” Like a little “bitch”.
“…for a boy to look like a girl is degrading.
‘Cause you think being a girl is degrading.”
(~Madonna, What it feels like for a girl in this world)
And why do they so casually talk about women’s bodies when they’re alone together, just like they talk about cars or electronics. It’s objectification.
And even though most of them are decent and respectful enough to not do this in front of us- it does have an effect on all of us. It does matter. (The butterfly effect. Collective unconscious.)
Is it really so much to ask them to make a few small changes? Even though it is debatable whether or not the words they use in private all-male gatherings are causing any harm- it is undeniable that if the would refrain from this type of talk there is zero chance they would be causing harm, and more likely contributing to eliminating the problem. So why not just do it?
And despite decades of solid evidence too many people, men and women, still deny that there is a problem. They don’t think that girls/women are bothered or influenced by constant advertising and media that is hyper-focused on the female body.
It’s an obsession! And it’s so frustrating.
These things (listed above) do effect how girls see and think of themselves and each other. And it effects the way boys see and think of girls and women. These skewed and distorted perceptions then effect the way we interact with the world and with one another.
Our own military has been described as “a rape cult.” There is an admitted “rape epidemic” within our military- the numbers and details of which read more like they’re coming from one of the countries they defend us from!
There are few convictions, and from the on set of a reported sexual assault case the victim is suspect and blamed, but the attacker is protected as though he is the victim! (See the documentary The Invisible War.)
And it’s not just the military, the military is a reflection of the rape culture that exists in our country and throughout the world as well.
Rape victims are still too often being blamed for their assault, or accused of lying about it despite years and years of solid evidence that says 9 times out of 10 the victim is a victim, not a liar.
It’s all complete insanity- a complete lack of morals, compassion and common-sense.
We saw it happen to the victim in the the Steubenville case.
And as that case was being discussed in homes and campuses across the nation I’m sure there were millions of young women being told and warned about the dangers of getting drunk at a party.
Don’t get drunk. You might get raped. And it will be your fault.
But what about conversations with the millions of young men across the country? Did anyone think to tell them- Hey, you know what happened to that girl wasn’t right, right?
You know to treat everyone with respect at all times, right?
A girl who has drank too much at a party should be helped and looked out for.
Do you know what to do if you see something like that happening?
Check out “A needed response” by Samantha Stendal on YouTube.
Hip-hop and rap music. World governments. Military. Religion. These are areas that are male dominated- very little female presence= no balance. And this certainly appears to be causing problems, to say the least.
There is a phenomenon that social psychology has revealed known as Groupthink.
Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people, in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an incorrect or deviant decision-making outcome.
Loyalty to the group requires individuals to avoid raising controversial issues or alternative solutions, and there is loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking. The dysfunctional group dynamics… produces an “illusion of invulnerability” (an inflated certainty that the right decision has been made). Thus the group significantly overrates their own abilities in decision-making… (Wikipedia)
Groupthink can fataly undermine group decision making. (mindtools.com)
Groupthink occurs when a homogenous highly cohesive group is so concerned with maintaining unanimity that they fail to evaluate all their alternatives and options…. (Oregonstate.edu)
The end result of groupthink is exactly what a military, political party, or pro-sports team would want- cohesiveness, harmony, conformity, a “strong bond” so that unanimity can be maintained and the group will seamlessly act as one. This can also occur among fraternities, high school and college sports teams, and neighborhood gangs.
Boys and men seem to be more prone to groupthink.
When they’re in a group they do things they wouldn’t otherwise do as individuals. (Not that this is an excuse for what they do.)
I think this is partly what’s at work when senseless acts, like gang rape, occur. Or why men speak disrespectfully about women, or to women, when they’re in a large group together.
And why they don’t stand up for us -with us- in larger numbers.
And why some lyricists write about shit that’s already been written about a hundred times over even though they have the talent and intelligence to be more original.
The groupthink phenomenon puts me in mind of a line from a song in the movie Mary Poppins:
“Although we love men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.”
But I’m really not trying to male bash. I’m not a femi-nazi. (Fuck you, it’s common sense.) I’m not over-reacting, I’m not emotional, it’s not “that time of the month”. I’m not ugly, I’m not a woman scorned, and-
“I’m not bitter. I’M MAD AS HELL!”